From Noel:

My favorite memories of that jerk, Aaron Retka:

I can't narrow it down, but all three memories sort of converge in front of my house on the West side of Colorado Springs.

The first was a photo shoot for the Toilet Paper in which Aaron played model boy for a photo piece we did on weird Colorado laws. For some reason I still can't remember, I had offered to let Aaron park his piece of shit maroon (marooned!) VW Fox in our driveway because he was too lazy to renew the registration. Anyhow, there was a weird law that you couldn't throw missiles at cars or something and Aaron stood on the hood of that car and threw my son's bathtub missile at the windshield.

Some months later, my wife demanded that I move Aaron's car out into the alley because she was sick of looking at it. So I did. Then, many months later, I noticed it was gone. I told Aaron and I can't remember him even flinching. I think he was relieved that someone had simply disappeared it because of how lazy he is.

The third memory is also in front of my house--the day we acquired Chainsaw Hitler. It was a sunny and brisk fall Colorado Springs afternoon, not a cloud in the sky as we dabbed Min-Wax walnut stain onto his mustache and hair in preparation for the photo shoot in which we posed him in front of a rainbow flag for the cover of Newspeak. I guess it was just something about our togetherness. I'll never forget those moment and stuff.

My advice: Ixnay on the azinesslay, motherfucker!

Happy Birthday!